For consideration, please answer the following questions as honestly and completely as possible then submit:
1. Have you ever been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, manic depression, OCD, or any other mental dysfunction that may conflict with your duties as Ursula’s one and only mentally stable friend?
2. Are you currently in possession of a floral sofa, cat you named snowball, fake nails, Aqua-Net, any kind of cow print whether it be décor or attire, fake breasts, pink cowboy boots, colored contacts?
3. Do you curl your bangs?
Have you ever been arrested for a felony? If so please explain:
4. If you gave a theme oriented party it would most likely include: (please check one)
(a) Scrap booking
(b)pampered chef
(c)Mary Kay
(D) Kegs, puking and frat boys
(E)Birthday candles
(F) Lingerie
(G)Oprah’s book of the month
(H)WWF or NASCAR
(I)Sports related
(J)Other
5. Do you have food or pet allergies? If so how many?
6. Have you bleached or permed your hair in within the last 4 years?
7. Do you have more than two children from more than two marriages (common law or otherwise). If so how many?
8. Do you wear perfume?
9. Are you more than 50 pounds overweight, or suffering from any serious illnesses?
10. Are you a heterosexual male? If so rate your stamina in the following categories on a scale from 1-10.
shopping
girl talk
self control
children
grumpy husbands
PMS
11. Do you plan you dates, days, or vacations according to your horoscope? Do you not only know your sign, but that of all your friends and relatives also?
Answering yes to any of the following questions will not automatically exclude you from consideration, however please offer explanations in 50 words or less.