Two statues at the Villa dei Papiri, in Herculaneum have fallen in love. While Hermes may look like he is at rest it is all a façade, as he is really just staring at the floor in an effort to look less obvious of just how very aware of her presence he is. The “her” plaguing his stream of consciousness is the bronze “Woman With Water Jug” who is balancing her burden on her shoulder with the oh so sexy, aloof expression proper of such an expensive hunk of feminine metal. At night when the clip clop of the museum curator’s high heel pumps have gone home to her empty apartment and a can of cold beans, the air between the two becomes so quiet, it is loud.
In fact if it wasn’t for the uninhibited revelry of the drunken satyr (sculpted wearing only a lion skin) the tension between the two icons might have brought the decades old figures to a breaking point years ago. As it is, the rate of decomposition imposed by the lovers maddening inability to move from their current positions upon the dais, toward consumation has created a whole new category of metal disease to the resident scientists study of such occurrences.
The rapid deterioration from causes unknown to the scientific world, recently captured the attention of world famous scientist Otto Droselemier, who himself admits to being baffled. The corruption witnessed within the seemingly safe walls of Villa dei Papiri began from the inside out on the two statues and has done more damage in 10 years, than the ravaging fires of Pompei and centuries of atmospheric degradation combined.
Other unusual events occurring to those who come within a close proximity to the statues have been reported recently as well. The cleaning lady Esperanza Morales upon beginning her shift early one Friday, first observed the hypothetical mystical powers of the pair when she happened to be mopping near the statues and glanced up at “Woman With Water Jug”. Morales reports she was filled instantaneously with intense longing for head maintenance supervisor and widower Edgar Gonzalez, whom Esperanza had worked with for 15 years and barely spoken a word to.
The two recently announced plans to marry in late October and have requested the right to hold the ceremony at the Villa dei Papiri at the feet of Lady With Water Jug to whom they credit their love. Others have come forward with similar stories regarding the two statues.