I don't want lunch
I am really just calling you because I find you most likely to tell me what I want to hear right now. That it really won't be so bad; that he loves me and somehow he will make that enough and I wont be lonely the rest of my life and that eventually I will be able to sleep with him again without wanting to puke. You might say that what we have was/is/will be, sufficient.
You will tell me over chinese that this is as good as it gets for anyone and I would swallow a bite and accept this as true, then go about my life with determined contentment simply because you said so and I love you.
I just need you to tell me.