"Self, where could urs possibly be on a perfectly ordinary day like
today?"
I knew it was doubtful that she was climbing the Swiss Alps, or
drinking coffee - her favoritest beverage in the universe - because it is
difficult to drink a beverage you detest, and also smile and answer the
phone at the same time.
It was unlikely that she had ditched work (although I conceded the
possibility certainly existed, with one as potentially capricious as the
carefully, partially-packaged-away Urs).
So I came to the quick, not-very-fancy conlclusion that she had snuck
just a little bit away, and was hiding in a little corner of her office,
kinda near the water cooler and a janitor's closet, where she was
resisting the urge to purchase more low quality candy bars in a last ditch
effort to entertain herself before she began photocopying body parts in
full view of visiting clients.
Don't do it! They're not worth it. At least save the photocopying
portion until I get there."
-J