It rained last night.
I can't tell you the almost magical effect a thunderstorm has on me. Suddenly everything became clear and beautiful again. All four of us ran out into the storm and jumped on the trampoline. Water was bouncing up from below our feet as much as it was coming from the sky and we all laughed. Nic went in and popped popcorn as we always do when it rains and I sat on the porch and felt the first cool breeze in months. It really helped to lift my spirits and the world was beautiful and green again.
I have learned that a slight case of the blues can become an actual physical imbalance when we allow ourselves be trapped in depression. Our spirits affect our bodies and we are thrown off balance. Then we try and correct the problem with drugs rather than going to the source of the problem- the self-indulgent nature in us that says we have the "right" to wallow in self-pity and depression.
I think God will always give us a chance to break the cycle and see through our own personal black cloud if we choose to. I guess the storm last night was mine. So I feel much better today though still not exactly myself. But I promise I wont allow myself to be so childish anymore. I don't think as a mother we have that luxury.